Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Hi. My name is Tom Gruber. Thanks for visiting, a site dedicated to seeking the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth regarding sexual ethics from a biblical perspective.

If you're wondering who I am and what makes me qualified to write about the highly-complex subject of sexual ethics, then please allow me to tell you about myself and why I believe this site is vitally important.

Vital Statistics
I was born Thomas Joseph Gruber on February 25, 1953 in Dayton, Ohio. I grew up in a small town on the Ohio/Indiana state line: Union City, Ohio. The McCoys, who wrote the #1 hit song "Hang On Sloopy" were from Union City, Indiana. That's probably the only thing Union City is famous for.

My Childhood
I grew up dirt poor. My aunt Cecilia (I called her Dee Dee) and uncle Fred raised me as an only child. I never met my father and I was not very close to my estranged mother.

My goal as a youth was to one day become an artist. I spent much of my childhood sketching pictures.

My Educational Background
I graduated from Mississinawa Valley High School in 1971. I was a member of the National Honor Society. I received a scholarship to go to college, the largest scholarship the school had to offer. In the fall of 1971, I started my college education at The Columbus College of Art and Design (CCAD) in Columbus, Ohio.

My Favorite Things
My favorite pastimes include: movies, chess, writing, and karaoke.

My Top Ten Favorite Movies
My top 10 favorite movies are:

10. Spider-Man 2
9. Spider-Man 3
8. Mrs. Doubtfire
7. Batman (with Jack Nicholson)
6. Rocky
5. The Graduate
4. Spider-Man
3. Exorcist
2. Batman Begins
1. Titanic

My Top Ten All-Time Favorite Artists/Music Groups
My top- ten all-time favorite artists/ music groups are:

10. Stevie Wonder
9. Carman
8. Justin Timberlake/N Sync
7. Beyonce'
6. Michael Jackson
5. Bee Gees
4. Billy Joel
3. The Eagles
2. Elton John
1. The Beatles

My Top Ten All-Time Favorite TV Shows
My top- ten all-time favorite TV shows are:

10. Star Trek: The Next Generation
9. Saturday Night Live
8. CSI
7. Seinfeld
6. Monk
5. All In The Family
4. Columbo
3. Big Love
2. 24
1. Smallville

My Religious Background
My Uncle Fred was Lutheran and my Aunt Dee Dee was Catholic. They took me to their respective churches a few times a year. Sometimes I went to the Lutheran church with Uncle Fred; and sometimes I went to the Catholic Church with Aunt Dee Dee. But even when I didn't go to church, I still heard Christian messages every Sunday. Uncle Fred had his radio tuned into a Christian radio station and the radio was turned up full blast.

I still recall messages by Billy Graham, Oral Roberts, Jerry Fallwell, and many others. But one preacher who stood head and shoulders above the rest to me as a teenager was Garner Ted Armstrong, voice of The World Tomorrow broadcast. He was son of Herbert W. Armstrong, Pastor General and founder of The Worldwide Church of God (WWCG), based out of Pasadena, California. Garner Ted Armstrong sounded so much like Paul Harvey that many people confused the two.

I started attending WWCG in 1971, my senior year of high school. I was a WWCG member for over twenty years.

At that time, the WWCG was considered a cult by most mainstream denominations and were black-listed in Walter Martin's book Kingdom of the Cults. They were a hodge-podge of Mormonism, Jehovah Witnesses, Seventh-Day Adventists, and Judaism. Like most cults, we firmly believed we were the one-and-only true church. All the other "so-called Christian religions" were, in our minds, the real cults. We regarded them as nothing more than "Satanists - deceived members of the synagogue of Satan."

Thankfully, I no longer adhere to the misguided doctrines of Armstrongism. But I must confess that both Garner Ted and Herbert W. Armstrong had charismatic personalities that were mesmerizing. And the logic with which they spun their web of deceit used impeccable logic. Since then, WWCG has made many sweeping changes. They are now considered orthodox by both mainstream Christianity and the new revised edition of the book Kingdom of the Cults. As I look back, I have mixed emotions about my involvement with WWCG. On the up side, I learned a lot about the Bible during that time, for which I am truly grateful.

My Current Religious Beliefs
Today, my favorite preachers include: R.C. Sproul, John MacArthur, and Hank Hanegraaff. I also listen regularly to The White Horse Inn, hosted by Michael Horton. I believe the words of the
Nicene Creed.

Places I've Lived
Throughout the course of my life, I've lived in each of the following US locations:

  • Union City, Ohio
  • Orlando, Florida
  • Fort Lauderdale, Florida
  • Pompano Beach, Florida
  • Fort Worth, Texas
  • Las Vegas, Nevada
  • Denver, Colorado
  • Anaheim, California
  • Los Angeles, California
  • Hollywood, California
  • Providence, Rhode Island
  • Buffalo, New York
  • Columbus, Ohio

I've lived here in Columbus, Ohio for the past 11 years now, for a grand total of over 15 years.

Why I Moved A Lot
So why all the moving from city to city? There were three main reasons: Part of it was job-related, part of it was because of my affiliation with WWCG, and part of it was due to my ever-illusive pursuit of a fantasy dream girl.

In 1973, while attending art college (CCAD), I took a part-time job as a telemarketer. Immediately, it was something I knew I could do and make a comfortable living at. I was very good at telemarketing. I was usually either the top telemarketer or one of the top telemarketers in most of the companies I worked for. But telemarketing was never meant to be an end in and of itself. Rather, it was intended to be a means to an end. Nevertheless, I'm still doing telemarketing as of the time of this writing.

I've sold everything from 2-for-1 dining club memberships to magazines to newspaper ads to advertising specialty products to vitamins; all over the phone. I also spent a few years off the phone training other telemarketers.

While doing telemarketing, I've tried to branch out into other things, including:

  • Songwriting
  • Writing screenplays
  • Blackjack
  • Network Marketing (MLM)
  • Online Internet Marketing

All of these other pursuits turned out to be dismal failures. As far as art goes, I haven't sketched or painted anything for over 20 years. I just completely lost interest. And although I still manage to pay the rent doing telemarketing, I'm no longer the superstar I used to be.

So part of the reason I moved from city to city was because it was always easy to get a new telemarketing job in a strange new city. And as a member of WWCG, I could always show up on a church member's doorstep with a few bucks in my pocket and know I'd at least have a place to stay and food to eat until I got my first paycheck from a new job. WWCG members were like family members. And although their doctrines were lacking, their hospitality was not. Belonging to WWCG was almost like being part of one big worldwide family.

So how does the pursuit of the woman of my dreams fit into the equation? Since members of WWCG were only allowed to date or marry other members of WWCG, often I would move from one state to another state with the attitude, "Oh well, there's no one in this state that interests me." There were really only three members of WWCG that I ever considered as a potential wife. To make a long story short, none of those relationships worked out, at least not in the way I had hoped. I've never married and I have no children.

All of these things were instrumental in shaping me into who I am today. I plead guilty to making plenty of stupid mistakes. Yet I also believe I've learned a lot from those mistakes. One of the biggest lessons I've learned is simply this: Women should not be idolized; they are not goddesses. Another big lesson is: God is not a cosmic Genie or a puppet who can be manipulated. Now that I am a reformed Christian, I place a much higher value on the sovereignty of God.

There were a few key events that radically influenced my thinking and became the catalyst of important fundamental ideas that would later lay a firm foundation for my understanding of sexual ethics.

Key Events That Influenced My Understanding of Sexual Ethics
The first key event that influenced my understanding of sexual ethics came when I was in elementary school. A schoolmate named Richard made a remark that I'll never forget:

"When I die, I hope I go to Hell," he said.

I asked why he felt that way. His response was thought provoking. He told me that his mother was a fine Christian lady. And according to her, the Bible teaches that there is no sex in Heaven. Richard explained that to him, eternity without sex is the worst form of Hell that he could imagine.

At the time, I didn't know how to answer Richard. But the idea of Heaven as a sex-free environment for celestial celibates seemed both illogical and ludicrous to me. But it did get my mental wheels turning.

2. The second key event that influenced my understanding of sexual ethics came on my first day of art college. One of my required classes was figure drawing. I had no clue what figure drawing was, but I soon found out. Eager students sat in a semi-circle, sketch pads and drawing materials in tow. The instructor informed us that we would be doing sketches from a model. What he didn't tell us was that the model would be an attractive female model... posing nude!

This was my first view of a live naked lady. I felt a combination of guilt and pleasure, as I sketched this nude model posing in every conceivable position. But my guilt got to the point where I felt I had no option but to drop out of college. The words of Jesus kept ringing in my ear:

"But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28, NLT).

Fortunately, before doing anything drastic, I counseled with my WWCG pastor. He grinned, then gave me reassurance. "There's nothing necessarily sinful about art students in your situation sketching nude women. My advice is, stay in college and get good grades."

That seemed like good advice. After all, Christian doctors see women nude constantly. Besides, who was I to question my pastor. This experience altered the way I looked at women and caused me to ponder the meaning of Jesus' words. I knew lustful looking was wrong. But what does it mean to look at a woman with lust? And when does looking cross the line?

3. The third key event that influenced my understanding of sexual ethics came when a pastor of WWCG gave a sermon that I'll always remember. The sermon was meant to be inspiring and uplifting. Yet I've never been so depressed in my life. The gist of the message was how wonderful the afterlife will be. So far, so good. But the part that was not so wonderful, at least to me, was the part that said eternity would be a sex-free environment. Like Richard from my boyhood days, I lost any appetite for heavenly things. Prior to that sermon, I had made a habit of daily prayer and Bible study. After that sermon, I didn't see the point. I went several years without prayer. I wasn't about to talk to God. I felt He had tricked me and I was furious about it. Like Richard, I couldn't comprehend why anyone would want to spend eternity in Heaven if there was no sex there.

Please keep in mind that I was extremely immature back then. Thankfully, God never gave up on me, even though I had given up on Him. That sermon, however, eventually got me to thinking: "What if that preacher was wrong?" Finally, I did an in-depth investigation into the subject of sex in Heaven. Here is a summary of my research:

  • There is no Scripture in the entire Bible that tells us whether or not there is sex in Heaven.
  • The one passage in the Bible used by theologians to support their claim that sex ceases beyond the Pearly Gates really says nothing about sex. Matthew 22:30 and its parallel passages simply state that when the dead rise, they won't be married. It speaks about a cessation of earthly marital bonds, but it says nothing about sexual intercourse. Furthermore, this passage can be and has been interpreted in several different ways.
  • Billy Graham said this to Larry King:

    "If sex is necessary for our happiness and fulfillment, it'll be there [in Heaven]," (Larry King Live interview, CNN, December 25, 1998).

4. The fourth key event that influenced my understanding of sexual ethics came while I was living in Las Vegas, Nevada. I had recently moved there from Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Previously, I had dropped out of art college twice, mainly due to dashed romantic expectations. But when it happened a third time in Florida, I swore off the whole idea of ever getting married. At age 25, I was still saving myself for marriage. Now I thought, "What's the point? I'll probably never meet anyone who I'd want to marry. If I do, it probably won't work out anyways. Besides, I'm not so sure I even want to get married in the first place. I trusted God and look where it got me. Furthermore, I might walk across the street today, get mowed down by a drunk driver, and BAM!, I'll be wafting to an eternal monastery as a transformed celestial eunuch, unable to partake of the joys of sex for ever and ever and... It's about time I start sowing some wild oats." I was bound and determined to have as much sex as possible. After all, I had a lot of making up to do. At least, that's how I saw things at the time.

First, it was strip clubs and hookers. But I eventually got tired of that. Then, one fateful night, I was intrigued by a classified ad for a swingers extravaganza. It was New Year's Eve. Having sex with female strangers and not having to pay them seemed like just what the doctor ordered, so I hopped in my car and went to a party place called The Red Rooster on the outskirts of Sin City. Party people were jam-packed like sardines.

I was living the life of the prodigal son. I confess, it was very enjoyable. Nevertheless, it was kind of like a man on death row enjoying his last meal. I knew something wasn't quite right. I admitted to myself that swinging was probably a sin, yet I was experiencing too much pleasure to quit.

One of the shortcomings of swinging for me was that I felt like I had little in common with these people beyond sex. I thought, "If only these people were Christians. Too bad swinging and Christianity have seemingly irreconcilable differences."

5. The fifth key event that influenced my understanding of sexual ethics came while living in Buffalo, New York. I moved to Buffalo from Providence, Rhode Island. I had moved to Rhode Island from Las Vegas. I spent about half of my work time in Buffalo as a sales trainer and the other half on the phone doing telemarketing work. The main item we were selling then was vitamins.

I hadn't been to a swing club for several years. I was back attending church at WWCG on a regular basis. But I was faced with a dilemma. Part of me wanted to return to the swinging lifestyle and part of me wanted to get married. I wasn't persuaded that swinging was right, but neither was I persuaded that swinging was wrong. Perhaps I was simply deluding myself into thinking what I wanted to think instead of surrendering to the truth, whatever that meant. So I started weighing all the pros and cons.

On the one hand, I didn't want to go to Hell. I was familiar with the verses that warn unrepentant sinners of the danger of sexual sin. On the other hand, I was not totally convinced that swinging was a sin. Also, I just couldn't get excited about going to Heaven if, as most Christians claim, Heaven really is a sex-free environment.

On the one hand, I really missed going to swingers clubs. On the other hand, maybe sex would be better if it was with someone I really loved. At least, that's what everybody says.

So then I thought about why I wanted to get married. I read somewhere that there are three main reasons why most people get married:

  • A desire for companionship, to remedy loneliness
  • A desire for children
  • A desire for sex

The first reason, a desire to remedy loneliness, just wasn't a motivating factor. Loneliness? What's that? Perhaps I felt this way because I'm an only child and have therefore adjusted to being alone better than most people. But I just don't think I've ever felt lonely.

The second reason never motivated me either. I've never quite understood why people desire to have children. Children were never something that I wanted. I'm not saying there's necessarily anything wrong with having children. If people want children, then I suppose they should have children. I always figured I would one day have children because I also figured I would one day get married. And I just automatically assumed that most women want children and it would be very selfish of me to say, "No, I will not give you any children."

So it all boiled down to one thing - sex. And that one thing seemed like a very poor reason to get married. Furthermore, I was extremely picky about who I would be willing to marry. Women like that were few and far between. Nevertheless, sex was really, really important to me. It still is. I also wondered if I could ever really love anyone again. In fact, did I "really" love all those other fantasy women who have since become another man's wife? Probably not.

So then I began asking other questions: What is love? What relationship is there between love and sex? Why did God make sex? What is the purpose of marriage? What is sexual sin and why is it wrong? Is swinging really a sin? If so, why? If not, why not? And of course, Is there sex in Heaven?

Somewhere along the way, I was introduced to the concept of polyamory. Polyamory is similar to swinging except people are given permission to not only have sex with multiple partners, but they are also allowed to fall in love with those multiple partners.

That seemed like common sense to me.

I was, and still am, an idealist longing for utopia. I used to take long walks, mulling these things over and praying for wisdom. Solving this sexual enigma was like solving a complex chess problem. Chess is one of my favorite pastimes. I genuinely believed there had to be a better way for men and women to connect than sexual exclusivity within a monogamous relationship.

6. The sixth key event that influenced my understanding of sexual ethics came when I wrote a 12-page letter to the new Pastor General of WWCG. Herbert W. Armstrong had died. And his son, Garner Ted Armstrong had since started his own church. Joseph Tkatch Sr. was now the new man in charge.

I guess it should have come as no surprise when I got a letter back from someone in the WWCG letter answering department. He sent me a four-page letter, informing me that Pastor General Tkach was too busy to reply. Although he addressed my concerns, his answers seemed more like ready-made cut-and-paste computer-generated replies than the thoughtful responses of someone who had given my letter serious consideration. In my opinion, his four-page letter didn't even come close to refuting the carefully thought-out arguments I had made in my 12-page letter.

Keep in mind, at this time, I still believed that WWCG was the one and only true church on the planet. So at the time, I had no interest in changing the world. I simply wanted to change the Worldwide Church of God.

Because I believed then, as I do now, that this battle for truth is important, I spent about a year writing a 200 page thesis, refining these WWCG arguments. Fortunately, I had access to a really great library outside of Buffalo at Christ the King Seminary. They had tons of great books that were unavailable at my local public labrary. I spent an enormous amount of time doing in-depth research. Though I make no claims to infallability, I have done my homework. I was amazed to discover that many great Christian thinkers believed many of the same things that I imagined I was the first to discover. Unfortunately, they all seemed to fall short in one area: they could quite get the big picture because they failed to put the pieces of the puzzle together in a cohesive way that made sense. Let me give just two examples.

a. I thought I was the first person in history to come to the conclusion that procreation by sexual intercourse was initiated by sin and would not have occurred if Adam and Eve had not sinned. Imagine my reaction when I read this for the first time:

Most Christian authors before Augustine thought that procreation by sexual intercourse was initiated by sin and would not have occurred if Adam and Eve had not sinned (Miles, Margaret R. Carnal Knowing. New York, NY: Vintage Books, 1991, page 94).

b. I also thought I was the first person in recorded history to conclude that the sin of Eve was engaging in sexual intercourse with Satan. Again, imagine my reaction when I first read the following:

It is beyond question that various legends concerning the monstrous intercourse of Adam and Eve with demons, and especially of Eve with the serpent or Satan, were both widespread and ancient among the Jews. The Talmud describes a contamination of the race, which is ascribed to the serpent's intercourse with Eve, and to the poison, which she derived from him. (Tennant, F.R. The Sources of the Doctrines of the Fall and Original Sin, New York, NY: Schocken Books, 1968, page 156.)

So here were two core key beliefs that I thought were totally original. I had spent much time in study and prayer arriving at these positions. Then BAM! one day I discover that many before me believed the exact same things. In fact, at one time, these positions were held by the vast majority. Why hadn't I heard about this before?

Of course, many of my predecessers arrived at conclusions similar to mine using much of the same logic and exegesis that I had used. But they had an entirely different agenda. The impetus of many of the Church Fathers was to prove that sex was bad. So they read the story of Adam and Eve through a much different lense. In sharp contrast to the early Church Fathers, I believed that sex, as God had originally designed it, was very good. I also believed that sex today would have been even better if only Adam and Eve had not polluted it. Therefore, Eve having sex with the devil seemed like a perfectly logical explanation as to why God needed to implement certain sexual restrictions for the good of humanity.

Both of these key points require a lot more elaboration that I have space for here. Let me simply say that I believed and still believe my arguments are logical, biblical, and persuasive to anyone with eyes to see and ears to listen. I thought if I could simply present my care in a straight-forward and logical manner and back it up with enough biblical support, people would listen. But my message has fallen mostly on deaf ears. I naively thought the WWCG would come around. At the very least, I thought they would give my arguments careful consideration. No such luck. What happened instead was, the 200 page manuscript that I had worked on for over a year was returned. On the cover was a post-it note, which simply said:

We're too buzy to read this.

7. The seventh key event that influenced my understanding of sexual ethics came a few months later. WWCG started making radical changes in doctrine. One by one, the doctrinal distinctives of WWGC began to conform to mainstream orthodox Christianity. No longer was the WWCG the one and only true church. No longer was it a sin to work on Saturday. In fact, satellite churches of WWCG were encouraged to change the day of their worship services from Saturday to Sunday. Many congregations of WWCG now meet on Sunday. WWCG members were also encouraged to observe traditional Christian holidays, such as Christmas and Easter, while discontinuing the observance of Jewish holidays, including The Feast of Tabernacles and The Days of Unleavened Bread. Unlike before, WWCG members are now allowed to eat pork and lobster. Also, they now believe in the Trinity and other mainstream orthodox doctrines.

So now, it was no longer important to persuade WWCG of my utopian ideas. Now, mainstream Christianity became my focus.

The 200 page thesis that I wrote to WWCG needed a major re-write, not in substance but in style. I wanted to make it easy to understand for the common layperson. But I also wanted to make it systematic, comprehensive, logical, and above all, biblically accurate. So I wrote it for scholars and laypeople alike. I wanted to be taken seriously. My goal was to make the book the best I could on my own, then get as much feedback as possible, making any necessary editorial changes.

Unfortunately, that too turned out to be a disaster. Because of the controversial subject matter, it was like wrestling with alligators just to get anybody to agree to read it. Several pastors promised to read it, but never did. And the few that actually did read the manuscript were not very helpful. They'd say something like, "This is not what we believe here at such and such church." That was about it. I felt like I had jumped from one frying pan into another.

I finally published
my book in 2001 through Trafford Publishing in Canada. The title I finally settled on was What the Bible "REALLY" says about... SEX: A New Look at Sexual Ethics from a Biblical Perspective. I'm sure this book is far from perfect. I consider myself a perfectionist and am currently working on a revised update. Be that as it may, I still believe my main points are valid. Those main points are:

A Summary Of What I Believe About Sexual Ethics

  • Marriage, the monogamous institution as we know it today, was instituted after the Fall and as a result of the Fall.
  • God original ideal intention was for every man (Adam can mean mankind) to be married to EVEry woman (Eve was a representative of womankind). But sin temporarily interupted that total ideal.
  • Eve became "The Mother of All Living" by acquiring procreative powers by sinning sexually with the serpent. The idea that Eve engaged in sex with the serpent is not a novel idea. It dates way back to the ancient Jews. According to F.R. Tennant, "It is beyond question that [such legends] ... were both widespread and ancient among the Jews. (Tennant, F.R. The Sources of the Doctrines of the Fall and Original Sin, New York, NY: Schocken Books, 1968, page 156.) My position, which was also held by many before me, is that God originally intended humanity to populate the earth in some way other than through sexual intercourse. According to Margaret R. Miles, "Most Christian authors before Augustine thought that procreation by sexual intercourse was initiated by sin and would not have occurred if Adam and Eve had not sinned." (Carnal Knowing, page 94) Few believe this today.
  • Because Adam and Eve acquired the ability to procreate, the use of sex had to be limited. If women were allowed multiple sex partners, sinful people living in a sinful world would have no idea who their biological father is. However, birth control and paternity tests weren't available until the last few years.
  • The main purpose of sex is not procreation; it's the pleasurable uniting of all men (Adam) to all women (Eve) as one flesh. In Hebrew, one flesh refers to a unity of body, mind, and spirit. Although the Bible does teach that believers should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, the Bible also teaches that believers should become united in mind, body, and spirit.
  • Becoming one flesh means becoming united in mind, body, and spirit! Second only to the preaching of the gospel, this should be the goal of the Christian community. This is the main reason why God made sex. God certainly didn't need to create sex in order to populate the planet. There are numerous other ways God could have accomplished that. Although the utopian goal of total unity cannot be fully accomplished until sin is completely eradicated, the seeds for this reality exist within the church right now. Right now, the church today can be and should be Paradise Restored. God's perfect will should be done on earth within the church as it is being done in Heaven. (Whether or not Christians in Heaven now are experiencing this total ideal is a matter of debate. In fact, it's debatable whether or not celestial Christians even have bodies. However, I believe a very compelling case can be made that this total ideal will prevail in the New Heaven and the New Earth.)
  • Sexual sin is measured by the "quality" of sex, not the "quantity" of sex. Martin Luther, the German reformer, acknowledged that intercourse was "never without sin." However Luther also said:

    "God excuses it by His grace because the estate of marriage is His work, and He preserves in and through the sin all the good which He has implanted and blessed in marriage." (Martin Luther, The Estate of Marriage [1520], in Luther's Works, Vol. 45, page 49)

    Like Luther, I also believe that intercourse is never entirely without sin. That's because whenever a man and a woman unite sexually, they are uniting the mind, body, and spirit of two sinful people who are fallen in mind, body, and spirit. In other words, sex is polluted to one degree or another because we are polluted to one degree or another as a result of the sin of Adam and Eve - not because sex itself, as God created it, was in any way sinful. But sex does have an enormous potential for misuse in this fallen world among the inhabitants of this fallen planet. Nevertheless, as Marvin Gaye once proclaimed, intercourse also provides a tremendous opportunity for profound sexual healing.
  • Sex is a form of holy communion. When Christians engage in sexual union, they are not only uniting with each other; they are also uniting with the very body of Christ, which is the church. As Christian author R.C. Sproul stated:

    Every individual who is personally united to Christ is at the same time personally united with every other person who is in Christ (Sproul, R.C. Getting the Gospel Right. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 1999, page 23b).

  • God doesn't make rules without reasons. If something is wrong, there is a reason why it is wrong.
  • God originally intended this planet to be a worldwide nudist colony. Man wears clothes because of the fall. But Christians clothed in Christ have no need to wear clothing while in each others company. Many Christians believe this. In fact, the nudist movement in America was founded by a Baptist preacher.
  • There are two kinds of sex: (1) responsible sex and (2) irresponsible sex. Sex may be either responsible or irresponsible, depending on a wide spectrum of factors.
  • Adultery mainly refers to the misuse of another man's wife as a violation of his property rights.
  • Fornication mainly refers to the idolatrous use of sex involving cult prostitutes.
  • Jesus redefined "family" as anyone who does the will of God (Mark 3:35).
  • Although both swinging and polyamory can be practiced in an irresponsible and therefore sinful way, they can also be practiced in a responsible, and therefore ethical, manner.
  • Lust means to have an inordinate desire to possess something or someone that does not belong to you. Covet and lust both mean the same thing. In swinging circles and polyamorous circles, most, though certainly not all, believe that in order to have sex with another person's spouse, sex should be with the knowledge and consent of both parties.

I'm writing this from my desk in Columbus, Ohio, where I still work full-time as a telemarketer. Juggling both tasks is a chore, but I believe it is worth it. Regardless of what you may think about what I have to say, hopefully you will think about what I have to say. I don't care what you think as long as you think. God gave us brains to use for something besides a hat rack. At, nobody needs to check their brains out at the door. I welcome your opinions, providing those opinions are thoughtful, respectful of others, and represent a Christian world view. There is a comment button at the bottom right of this page. Hopefully, you value my insights and consider them worthy of consideration, as I value yours. Please join the conversation.

Let the Christian sex talk begin!